As the years roll on, the way we celebrate Thanksgiving changes. But one thing that does not change is the joy of gathering for a meal with family and friends. That’s because Thanksgiving is more than a holiday and more than a meal. It’s a time to celebrate family, give thanks for family, and renew relationships with cousins you see only at Thanksgiving. And for us old folks, it’s a time to quietly remember those loved ones who have departed.Right or wrong, my sisters and I will always judge Thanksgiving by the way Mama did it. Mama knew how to do Thanksgiving. Few things pleased her more than having the whole family enjoy a sumptuous meal around her table. This tradition began during my childhood and continued for the 67 years my folks were married.
We were not wealthy. Times were hard most years, especially for farmers. Dad raised cows and hogs and grew cotton and corn. Though I was born during the "depression years," I never thought we were poor; we just had less than some families had.
Dad always had a big garden so there was food on the table even when money was scarce. My three sisters, my brother and I ate at a table my dad built with ordinary pine boards. After my parents died my siblings said I could have the table. I have treasured it for years and even more since my friends Allen Brewer and Jim Rush refinished it for me. They gave that old table a new life. And if you eat with me, we’ll be sitting at Dad’s table. Some families seldom eat together nowadays. Things change. But there’s value in sitting around a table together as a family. Children learn a valuable lesson when Mama and Daddy bow in prayer and give thanks for God’s blessings. Thanksgiving reminds us that giving thanks should be a daily habit for a family.
Mama’s meals were predictable. Toasted pecans were always on the table. She fixed both pumpkin pie and potato pie. My brother Seth liked potato pie more than pumpkin pie. The rest of us loved mama’s pumpkin pie, every slice of which was decorated with a spoonful of whipped cream. It was not Cool Whip; she whipped the cream herself. But pie was not enough; mama never missed serving ambrosia also, ambrosia topped off with a cherry. There was plenty of ham, turkey, dressing and cranberry sauce. The vegetables were mostly from daddy’s garden; and he never tired of telling us he had grown the vegetables in his garden. Mama and Dad believed in canning so we had an endless supply of lima beans, corn, tomatoes, okra, black-eyed peas, potatoes, onions, and green beans. They took great pride in the hard work that put food on the table.
After lunch there was the family ritual of winterizing Mama’s greenhouse. Our sons and their cousins would climb up on the roof and pull a plastic covering over the fragile glass roof. Dad had a gas furnace inside the greenhouse so he and mama could take care of their flowers through the winter.
After the passing of my parents, the old greenhouse was bull-dozed down, its remains buried in a deep hole. It was just as well. Most of the windows were broken and it had not been used for several years. Dad was proud of having built that green house for Mama. She loved to grow flowers and loved to share her flowers. In every place we ever lived we planted some of Mama’s flowers. Some of her Day lilies beautify my yard today. Mama and Dad are gone now but many precious memories remain in the heart of this grateful son. Customs change. Traditions die. New ones are born. As we get older we have to adapt to those changes. We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving now as we once did but I am at peace about it. Treasured memories help create a gentle peace in the heart. Old ways give way to change, but one thing does not change – the need for traditions that hold families together. That is the great value of traditions. And that is the challenge facing each new generation – to create traditions that produce precious memories. I hope my grandchildren, and great grandchildren, will one day have Thanksgiving memories that will give them peace as their traditions change. Most of all, I pray they will share my conviction that family matters. It matters because it is in a loving family that children can learn to love God and discover the joy of living for Jesus. Family, it’s what giving thanks is all about. + + +