In this last chapter of my earthly life, I have moved from struggling with grief to struggling with cancer. It has been a new experience to sit in a large waiting room with 30 other patients, all of us waiting for our name to be called for lab work. Sitting there, I realize that some of them are in a stage far worse than my own.
Family and friends ask the same question: “How are you doing?” So I have asked Jesus to help me offer an answer that is positive and hopeful. First, I want everyone to know that I do not feel sorry for myself and I am not angry with God for allowing me to have cancer. After all, my heavenly Father let me live 90 years without cancer, and that I celebrate with gratitude.
My simple answer contains the three words of a song I love: “Leaning on Jesus.“ It is not a great hymn, just a sweet chorus I have enjoyed singing for years: “Learning to Lean On Jesus.”
Singing these few words has often opened my heart to the peace Jesus delights in giving us in times of trouble:
Learning to lean, Learning to lean
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Finding more power than I've ever dreamed
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Sad, broken-hearted, at an altar I knelt
I found peace that was so serene
And all that He asks is a childlike trust
And a heart that is learning to lean
As my physical strength weakened, I turned to a “Moses” staff, then later a strong walking stick. Finally, I am at the mercy of a walker that I call “Wally.” Wally enables me to continue living by myself. I have had to learn to do ordinary tasks with one hand because the other hand has to have a good grip on Wally.
What does it mean to lean on Jesus? Basically, it means to trust him, abide in him, live in him, and obey him. Though physically I am weak and unsteady, I can receive power, spiritual power, by staying connected to Jesus. To lean on Jesus is affirm that he is the Lord of my life, the face of God, the Helper I have needed for the entire journey of my life.
I can celebrate what God said to Isaiah by recognizing that Jesus is the right hand of God:
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). I rejoice that the right hand that upholds me is the hand of my Lord Jesus.
The word “lean” conveys beautiful symbolism. A husband and wife lean on each other for strength when hardships occur. A friend can lean on a friend for support in difficult situations. John Paton was a missionary to the New Hebrides, islands off the coast of Scotland in the South Pacific. There he discovered that while the natives had words for house, tree, stone, and the like, they had no words for love, joy or peace. Worst of all, they had no word for “believe.”
John was frustrated, helpless to explain to the natives how to believe in Jesus. One day as he sat in his hut, an old man entered and slumped down in a chair. Exhausted from a long journey, the man said, “I’m leaning my whole weight on this chair.” Immediately, John Paton cried: “That’s it!” And from that day, for the primitive tribe, “Believe in Jesus” became “Lean your whole weight on Jesus.”
So leaning my whole weight on Jesus is trusting Jesus with the here and now. It is affirming that Jesus has me, and he has my predicament in his hands. Leaning on Jesus is obeying him, loving God and loving one another. It is taking seriously the idea that God has put us together in the Body of Christ so we can love and care for each other. It is rejoicing that my brothers and sisters are standing by me, cheering me on through whatever must be faced. In recent months the love, prayers and support of my family and friends have been an awesome blessing.
Jesus reminded his disciples that they would have problems, and the Word of God affirms that for us as well. Jesus did promise his disciples peace, and that same peace he offers us when we lean on him. He also promised the comfort, guidance and help of the Holy Spirit, and that, praise God, we have as believers.
My doctors can only guess at my future, so leaning on Jesus is putting my future in his hands. I am open to his healing my body here, or to his ultimate healing in the life that awaits me on the other side. Leaning on Jesus is not to fret and worry but to be at peace, and by his grace, I am at peace.
If, reading this, you find yourself deeply troubled about your life and your future, then turn everything over to Jesus. Lean on him and trust him. Ask for his mercy. Soon you will find more power than you’ve ever dreamed.
If you are already leaning on Jesus, keep leaning on him. It is the key to living fully and dying well.
Glory!