Walter Albritton June 26, 2016 Disappointments happen. We stumble. We fall. We get our feelings hurt. Friends let us down. We shoot ourselves in the foot. In miserable moments we experience anger, frustration and despair. We kick ourselves. We should have done better. We may even want to die. A cloud of gloom hangs over us. We are embarrassed. We want to run and hide and never look another person in the face. Weary of this misery we finally decide we have punished ourselves enough. Life is difficult. The past cannot be undone. We must work our way through these wretched feelings and start living again. What works for me is to walk away from the mess I have made and start over. Just get over it and move on! Worry changes nothing. Bitterness sours the spirit. Regret must quickly give way to change. Face reality. Admit it if I have been at fault. Ask forgiveness if I have offended someone. Take responsibility for my actions. If I have done or said something stupid, I can make amends. I can try again. I can become a more sensitive, caring person. I can offer others the support and encouragement I wish they would offer me. The death of a loved one can result in heartbreaking disappointment. We experience sorrow but also remorse about what we may have failed to do. Remorse can lead to debilitating depression. While grief is normal we must eventually get over it. Life does not stand still; it moves on. Sadness must give way to joy. In dark days we look for light where we can find it. The words of Thomas Carlyle are helpful: “The eternal stars shine out as soon as it is dark enough.” If we will gaze up into the dark sky long enough, we will soon see the stars shining. They are there, waiting to be seen, but it is hard to see them through our tears. Life is not all sunshine and sweetness. There are sad and lonely days, but we have a choice; we can choose to get beyond our misery. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow understood this reality: Be still, sad heart, and cease repining, Behind the clouds the sun is shining; Thy fate is the common fate of all; Into each life some rain must fall, -- Some days must be dark and dreary. Adversity is a great teacher. We learn more from our failure than our success. Success often leads to pride and pride causes us to stumble. When we fall, we need to ask what caused us to fall and resolve to improve wherever possible. Only a fool continues to make the same mistake repeatedly. We can learn not to do certain things again. Unless we do, we will never be able to “get over it.” Some people get ahead by stepping on others on the way to the top. It hurts when someone gets the promotion you thought you deserved. When that happens, you have a choice. You can stew over it and complain bitterly. You can scream and cry that you were wronged. None of that will help. It succeeds only in making you miserable. The best response you can make? Just grab yourself by the nap of the neck and get over it. To get over a disappointment is to rise above it. Washington Irving said it well: “Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above it.” He was right. We can refuse to be subdued by our defeats and become better people because of them. Anger is self-destructive. Problems are never solved by tearing our hair out. Baldness will not soothe our sorrows. Though it is normal to become angry with those who hurt us, we can learn to calm down and get over the hurt. Forgiveness is better than anger. Hatred is a chain that ties you to the person you hate. The only way to be free is to forgive. Forgiveness breaks the chain and sets you free. If you are nursing a sorrow, hurt, disappointment or failure, admit that you need to get over it. If you get over it, you can move on with your life. Life will not be perfect, but it will be sweeter, and you will be able to share with your friends: “I’m over it!” The next time life falls apart for you, do yourself a big favor. Skip the misery of disappointment and regret. Just get over it and move on! + + +