My wife and I were guests of friends in Falls Church, Virginia. I was preaching in their church for a few days. About 4:30 on the morning of our second day there, I collapsed in the hallway. The noise of my fall awakened Dean and my friends and they rushed to check on me.
I was so weak I could barely speak and had no idea what was happening. Other than fatigue, I had experienced no warning signs. Unable to find my pulse, our friends called 911. Two paramedics arrived soon, checked my blood pressure, placed me on a stretcher, and without discussing the matter with me, said, “We need to take him to the hospital.”
The home where we were staying was a split-level house, so to get me to the ambulance the paramedics had to carry me down several steep steps. Since I weighed 250 pounds, it was not an easy assignment. Though I was anxious about my unknown ailment, I could not help but be amused by the conversation of my two benefactors.
After carrying me out of the house, the paramedics struggled to lift me up into the ambulance. My weight must have seemed like two pounds more than they could manage. Panting heavily, one called out to the other, “Are you lifting your end?” The other replied, “I’m doing all I can!”
Finally inside the ambulance we sped away, the disturbing sound of the siren piercing the early morning air and reminding me that I was in serious trouble. Suddenly fear gripped me. I must be having a heart attack. I thought I was dying. I cried out to the Lord, “Help me, Jesus!”
The ambulance bounced on and I was soon in the hands of a caring doctor whose calming voice helped me relax.
The good doctor was candid: “We don’t know what your problem is but we are going to check on five possible problems, one at a time.” Soon afterward, he shared with me, “You are not having a heart attack.” I was relieved yet still puzzled. Hours later, the doctor assured me I was not dying. His diagnosis: “You are in shock as a result of the loss of blood from internal bleeding. You have a bleeding ulcer, the type with which there is usually little or no pain.”
Fortunately, surgery was not necessary. They treated me for a few days with a saline solution. Rest and medication were prescribed, along with exercise and a new attitude toward life. The doctor’s basic advice was simple: Learn how to handle your stress better or it may kill you.
I knew the doctor was right. I had been fretting about things over which I had no control. I was preaching faith but practicing worry. In my drive to be all things to all people, I had forgotten to stop along the way and enjoy the birds and smell the roses.
When you’re down and out, the Bible is your best source for restoration. I had preached that for others; now it was time for me to practice what I was preaching. With the help of Jesus, I learned to worry less and trust Jesus more.
I cried a lot during those five days in that Virginia hospital. On my second day there, I opened my Bible to the Book of Jeremiah, my eyes falling upon verses 31:16-17 – This is what the Lord says: “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,” declares the Lord. “They will return from the land of the enemy. So there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord. “Your children will return to their own land.”
I could hardly believe what I had read. It was so clearly a message to me from God that I wanted to shout! In my Bible I wrote boldly two words so the scripture now said: “This is what the Lord says: TO ME!” These verses were not just words written long ago by Jeremiah; this was almighty God speaking hope and peace to me!
In my anxiety, shame and regret, I had been unable to keep back the tears. But now the Lord was saying to me: “Don’t cry, for I am with you.” I was uncertain about my health, and the Lord was saying: “There is hope for your future; just trust me.” I was distressed about the wayward of my sons, but the Lord was reassuring me that my sons would return to the faith they had been taught as children. I felt I had been a failure as a pastor, but the Lord was saying: “Stop crying; your work will be rewarded!”
I brushed back the tears and began thanking the Lord for His great mercy to me, a weak, broken and miserable servant. Then the tears started flowing again as I lay in that hospital bed realizing that my Loving Father had met my needs in an hour of brokenness and discouragement.
Though that encounter with God occurred 47 years ago, it remains fresh in my aging memory. And now and then, on a quiet day, I pause to celebrate how great is the love of God!
He is not off somewhere in the vast universe creating other galaxies; He is Emmanuel, here with us, caring about every problem we face, and ready to restore the joy of our salvation.
The Apostle Peter never cried in a hospital like I did. But he cried his heart out, a broken, helpless man following his cowardly denial of knowing Jesus. Then our loving Father came to him and told him to restrain his voice from weeping. He told him there was hope for his future and Peter believed him. In the years that followed, Peter’s dynamic leadership helped the young church spread the good news across the world. And when we read what Peter wrote in his New Testament letters, we know that he had himself experienced the Lord’s redemptive power that he recommends to us:
“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen (1 Peter 5:10-11).
God restored Peter. He restored me. And if you will stop crying, and trust Him, He will restore you. His redemptive love is greater than any problem that may have you in tears.