Special to 0-A News
From Walter Albritton, Senior Pastor Trinity UMC
For June 13, 1999
Sometimes when we are busy and don't want to be bothered, children can be a nuisance. But not all the time. Most of the time children add awe and wonder to the monotony of life. And the wisdom of little children is often like a smiley face on a rainy day. They can make us laugh when nothing else will.
Here are some sage observations of children which I have run across lately. I hope one of these nuggets can make you laugh or at least bring a smile to your face.
*A little girl was asked, "What would you do if you were the Pope?" She replied, "The first thing I would do is coat all the communion wafers in chocolate!" Nice move!
* A 4-year-old Catholic boy told his dad what happened in church. "The priest called some of the people down to the front and gave them an alka-seltzer!" Without water?
* A boy announced to his mother that he had decided to become a preacher when he grew up. When his mother asked why, he said, "Well, I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, so I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen." Smart boy!
* A boy of 3 watched as the priest, after all had been served, wiped the chalice. He turned to his mother and said, "He's doing dishes now, Mom; can we go home?" Why not!
* A second grader attended the Methodist Church with his aunt. After they knelt at the altar and took communion, the boy asked, "Aunt Audrey, is that all we'll have to eat up in heaven?" No covered dish suppers?
* A little boy knelt between his parents at the communion time and the pastor, not really seeing him, failed to serve him. "Hey," the boy said, "don't you have anything for us little guys?" It is for everybody, isn't it?
*One little girl prayed, "Dear God, thank you for the baby brother. But what I prayed for was a puppy."
* Mickey prayed, "Dear God, if you watch me in church Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes."
* Rob prayed, "Dear God, of all the people who work for you, I like Noah and David the best."
* Stephen wrote this letter to his pastor, "Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there."
* A child stayed in the pew as his father went forward to receive the sacrament. When the dad returned the child asked about the wafer, "They got any chocolate ones up there?"
* Arnold wrote his pastor: "Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but he never met my sister."
* Ralph wrote his pastor: "Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished."
* Alex wrote his pastor: "Dear Pastor, please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you."
* A woman brought her grandson to the Episcopal service. The boy watched as the priest at the altar prepared communion and said, "Look, Grandma, God is making Kool-Aid."
* Jane prayed, "Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?"
* Norma prayed, "Dear God, did you mean for the giraffe to look like that, or was it an accident?" Lucy prayed, "Dear God, are you really invisible or is that a trick?"
Bruce prayed, "Dear God, please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up."
Ellen wrote her pastor, "Dear
Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if
you moved it to Disneyland."
Children - what fun they add to our days!