December 12, 2021
Best Medicine for Loneliness
Kind friends often express concern for
me by saying, “I know you have missed Dean this year.” Those caring words
remind me of the loneliness I have endured during my first year without Dean.
They also remind me how, by the grace of God, I have not allowed myself to
become a victim of loneliness.
Loneliness rears its ugly head daily
in my life. Each morning it says, “Walter, you are alone now. It’s alright to
feel sad. You have no one to enjoy breakfast with, and your little dog, Buddy,
does not like scrambled eggs or sausage. So feel free
to have a pity party as you begin another lonely day.”
Thus far I have refused the offer to
feel sorry for myself. I tell loneliness to get lost, that it is not welcome in
my house or my heart. Loneliness is a disease. It can kill you, but it is not
incurable, and I have found the medicine that prevents it from terminating my
life.
I remind myself that I am not the only
lonely person in the world. Loneliness is a universal difficulty, and a growing
problem in America. And surprisingly, nowadays younger generations are more
likely to experience it. A recent Barna study
revealed that 19% of Boomers feel lonely sometime every day, 33% of Gen X, and 46%
of Millennials.
While most
of us are obsessed with the danger of Covid-19, loneliness is yet another
threat to human life. So much so, that Susan Mettes
has published a book titled The Loneliness Epidemic, in which she offers
ideas for ministering to the lonely. I have not read the book but I hear that
it is helpful. Right now, my medicine is working well in treating my loneliness.
When tempted
to cry about my wife’s passing, I remind myself that God allowed me to know
Dean for 82 years; we met at age 6 in the first grade
classroom. God allowed us to be married for 68 and a half years. Many couples
do not enjoy that many years.
Instead
of succumbing to loneliness, I think about some of the wonderful gifts Dean
possessed. She could find flowers in the yard, even in a ditch by the roadside,
and make a beautiful table decoration for a holiday meal. She could make a can
of Spam taste like a beef roast. She could buy a used slipcover and make an old
sofa look like new.
When I
was certain there was no food in the house, she found a way to come up with a
meal. She could light a bunch of candles and make our home feel like a
sanctuary. She never once complained that I could not buy her expensive
clothes; she could dress up beautifully with clothes she bought for eight
dollars at a thrift store. She used a fifty-dollar Singer Sewing Machine and
made clothes for our boys until they began begging for Izod stuff.
She
could take a dollar and bless my socks off at Christmas; one of my most
precious gifts was a little plaque with two rabbits on it hugging, with these
words beside the rabbits – “We Need Each Other.” Talk about Christmas good
tidings! After Dean’s death, I realized that while I spent my life preaching
about living to honor Christ, Dean was modeling a life that honored Christ. And
she constantly inspired me to “do my best” when I was preaching about “our Lord
Jesus.”
God
loaned Dean one of His special gifts – how to make something out of nothing! And
wonder of wonders, God allowed me to be married to that special lady for nearly
70 years!
Yes,
loneliness is a problem. I miss Dean every day. But with the right medicine, loneliness
is not insurmountable. It cannot withstand the healing power of grace, gumption
and the right group of precious memories! + + +