Altar Call – Opelika-Auburn News
Walter Albritton
February 2, 2020
You Can Make People Feel Good about Themselves
I miss Ben. He died at 84 in 2016. We were friends for
60 years. We were preachers. We never lived in the same town so when we got
together we talked for hours – about heartaches and blessings, the sweetness
and sorrows of our families, faith discoveries, the keys to church renewal,
books we were reading and books we were writing, and the current issues facing
the world.
Looking back since Ben’s passing, it dawned on me that
there was never a meeting with Ben that left me with negative feelings about
myself or him. Every encounter was stimulating, positive and encouraging. In
the last decade of his life we met often and never with an agenda. It was, I
think, what Solomon called iron sharpening iron – “As iron sharpens iron, so a
friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27:17). Ben had a way of making me feel
good about myself, my potential, and my future. Conversations with him
generated hope in my soul. I like to believe he felt the same way about me.
Not every encounter with other people is like that.
Now and then you walk away from someone feeling disgusted, disturbed or even
angry. You can only pray that you never have that same effect on someone else.
The truth is, the way we relate to the people we encounter can make a huge
difference in their lives. So, if you want that difference to be helpful and
not hurtful, these suggestions may be helpful:
One, encourage people. The value of encouragement
is enormous. Everybody needs it. Everybody can give it. Nobody lives well
without it. Look every day for someone you can encourage. If the clerk who
takes my money for a purchase smiles, I usually say, “Thank you for your
smile.” It is a small way to encourage someone who is probably struggling to
make ends meet.
Two, be kind to people. Yes, our culture has
become impersonal. But be friendly anyway. Refuse to return indifference with
indifference. A friendly comment spoken with kindness can sometimes change a
person’s attitude. Rudeness is the behavior of callous people. Choose to be
polite, gracious and courteous to everyone you meet. It will make you feel
better about yourself and your kindness could inspire others to follow your
example.
Three, say “Thank you.” Thank the people who serve
you. I asked my waitress in a restaurant if there was anything I could ask God
to do for her. She looked at me for a few seconds, then burst into tears.
“Yes,” she said, “please ask God to help me; I am going through a bitter
divorce.” I took her hand and prayed for her quietly. As I started to leave,
she thanked me for my prayer.
Four, smile at people. A frown requires more
energy than a smile. So, save your energy and smile even when you are hurting.
Usually you will get a smile in return. I smile a lot because I don’t want a
stranger passing me to say, "There goes an old sourpuss; he must have
heartburn." We have a choice when we meet people. We can frown, stare
indifferently or smile. A friendly smile is always the best choice.
Five, affirm people. Commend them. Before most people
can do their best, they need to hear someone say, “You’ve got what it takes!”
Never be demeaning or “talk down” to someone. Leave it to lesser souls to
belittle people. Find gracious ways to offer others the gift of affirmation.
Your support could tip the scales in favor of their success.
Six, forgive people. You hurt people. People hurt you.
That’s life. An unforgiving spirit leads to misery. Harsh words unwisely spoken
had wounded my friendship with a relative. I tried to ignore it for months.
Finally, I swallowed my pride and asked him to forgive me. He did and we have
been good friends ever since. Harsh words separate people. But the separation
need not be permanent. Pride is an infection of the soul for which forgiveness
is the only medicine. Ask the person you have hurt for forgiveness. Forgive the
person who has hurt you. There is no other way to peace. So, forgive – and
live!
Seven, pray for people. Pray for your family and your
friends. Pray for your colleagues. Pray for the Congress. Pray for the
President. Pray for our nation. Pray for the persecuted. Pray for the people in
prisons. Pray for understanding. Pray that your kindness will allow people to
see Jesus in you. Pray that everyone you meet with find joy and peace by
trusting Jesus as Savior and Lord. Pray for the poor, especially the homeless.
Pray for God to show you ways to be a blessing. Thank God even for your aches
and pains; they remind you that you are alive, and life is a precious
gift.
There are people in your life who need you. They need
your encouragement, your kindness, your prayers, perhaps your forgiveness. You
have what it takes to make a huge difference in their lives. I didn’t know this
when I was young. A lot of years passed before I made this discovery. But I
know it now, and that’s why I am making an effort to
be the kind of person who makes other people feel good about themselves. I
invite you to join me in this endeavor to be a Christian worthy of the name. + + +