Altar
Call – Opelika-Auburn News
Walter
Albritton
January
20, 2013
Grief
is a painful journey that no one can avoid
Grief
is one of the common threads of life. It links us all together. Since every
person will die the painful loss of loved ones is inevitable. And loss causes
pain and struggle.
Loss, however, does not have to be endured
alone. Support is available. Though our society has spawned a “culture of
violence,” that is not the whole story. There are churches, counselors and
agencies that are ready to help us walk the lonely road of sorrow. And each of
us as individuals can offer love and encouragement to the hurting persons in
our circles of friends.
This
is one of the beautiful aspects of being a human being. Each of us has the
capacity to share one another’s burdens, to offer a shoulder to cry on, to
simply “be there” for someone whose pain seems unbearable.
Grief
feels like the bottom has fallen out of your world. Someone you loved is
missing. A chair is empty. Tools once used are now idle. You feel numb and
helpless. Yet life goes on. And you must find a way to go on with your own
life.
We
must find the strength to deal with the reality of death. Little help comes
from reading a poem that says, “I did not die; I am still here with you.” No, the
person who died in our arms and was buried last week is actually dead and gone.
Years
ago I visited an old man who belonged to my church. He was about 80 and lived
alone. While we chatted he told me about his beloved wife who had died about 20
years previously. “Would you like to see her room?” he asked. I was puzzled but
said yes so we walked down the hall.
Opening
the door to a bedroom, he said, “Everything is still just like it was the day
she died,” he said. I was stunned by what I saw: an unmade bed with a dress on
the footboard, a hair brush and lipstick lying on a dresser with one drawer
partially opened, and the entire scene covered with cobwebs. It was something
you would expect to see only in a horror movie.
I
prayed with the old man and departed sorrowfully for I knew I had met a man
whose family and friends had failed him. Yes, he had failed himself. But that
is why we are in this world – to help a brother or a sister find a better way
to respond to grief. And the truth is, some need more help than others.
Take
a look around you. You will likely find someone who is struggling with the
emotions that grief produces: anger, guilt, bitterness, emptiness, fear and
self-pity. You may be able to help that person not by urging them to “get over
it and move on” but by simply walking beside them until the pain diminishes.
If
nothing else you might remind your hurting friend that God hurts too, just like
his children hurt, when someone dies. He is that kind of God, a God who cares
and is ready to help us when we are mourning the loss of a loved one. And he
wants his children to help one another as they walk the painful journey called
grief.
The
privilege of providing loving support and encouragement to a fellow human being
may be the secret of a life well lived. And sooner or later each of us will
need that support. + + +