Altar
Call – Opelika-Auburn News
Walter
Albritton
January
27, 2002
My friend Leisa Askew gave me the
opportunity to speak recently to some of the finest people in the world: the caregivers
and social workers who minister daily to dementia patients. We met at the
former Mr. J’s Restaurant, which the East Alabama Medical Center has converted
into a marvelous resource center. The Lee-Russell Council of Governments Area
Agency on Aging sponsored the two-day workshop.
Sooner or later all of us must learn how
to relate helpfully to people whose mental capacities are degenerating. Whether
we do so as professionals, caregivers, or simply as sons and daughters of aged
parents, most of us need to improve our skill in helping the aged.
My assigned theme was “I Don’t Remember
God…Does He Remember Me?” This topic quickly reminded me of the Old Testament,
in which the prophets railed against the Israelites for the sin of forgetting
God. Early on Moses warned the people “not to forget the things your eyes have
seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live.” When you come into
the Promised Land, he said, and enjoy wells you did not dig, and vineyards you
did not plant, “be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out
of Egypt.”
Years later the Prophet Isaiah heard the
cry of those who said, “The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.”
To which cry Isaiah hears God reply: “Can a mother forget the baby at her
breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may
forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my
hands.” So people forget God, but God does not forget his people.
For many years I have ministered as a pastor
to the aged. Such ministry is often rewarding, but sometimes deeply
frustrating. When disease robs people of their minds, God is often blamed. We
cannot understand why a loving God would allow the body to outlive the mind.
Hard questions arise which few of us can answer adequately. But that does not
mean that our faith has been in vain.
In the face of cruel circumstances and
unanswerable questions, there are some alternatives to giving up the faith and
renouncing God. Here are a few things, which we as family members, loved ones,
and caregivers can do:
1) We can offer our compassion to others even when it seems
pointless to do so. Even the deranged person may benefit from our kindness.
When we visit a person in a nursing home who no longer recognizes anyone he
once knew, we can still touch him, pray for him, and call upon God on his
behalf. Jesus did. We can too.
2) We can offer others our faith that God does not, and will
not, forget his children. No matter how dreadful the situation, we can affirm
that God is good. To be able to do that we must first settle this issue in our
own souls; only then can we hope to convince others. Here we may learn from
Jesus. He never tried to persuade anyone that God existed. He took that for
granted and invited people to think of God like a Father who cares for his
children. He urged people to believe that their heavenly Father wanted to bless
them. We can cling to this conviction despite the worst of earthly calamities.
3) We can enjoy our own life and invite others to celebrate
life with us every day. We can emphasize the positive, the true, the good, and
the lovely. We can strengthen our capacity to laugh and give thanks that God
has a delightful sense of humor. How else can you explain the existence of
skunks, giraffes, and gnats? These creatures did not creep out of the
primordial swamp one bright day. A God who has a rich sense of humor created
them. Perhaps he made the tiny gnat so that one may fly up the nose of the
proud, self-righteous cynic who scoffs at the idea of God. A sense of humor can
be a valuable ally when grandmother begins to have hallucinations and insists
that she sees people who are not there. We might as well laugh as to cry
because the people grandmother sees are real to her, even though they do not
actually exist.
4) Though we may forget many things on the journey of life, we
should never forget the many people who make even a small difference in our
lives. If we work at it, we can learn not to overlook people or to take them
for granted. We can become aware of what they mean to us, and let them know we
are grateful. Even a cheerful “Good Morning” shared with our colleagues at work
can serve to make the day better for everyone. There are many people without
whom we could not function. We can let them know we “see” them and that we
care.
5) We can remember that our caring, kindness, and positive
spirit may help someone believe that God has not forgotten them. We do not live
in a vacuum. There are people all around us. We can be available to them, and
available to God. We can treasure our relationships more than our things. You,
for example, may be the one person God wants to use to bless someone else.
Helping people become aware of God, and his love, may not be as complicated as
the scholars want us to believe.
There
will be people around us who lose their capacity to remember. That is why we
should try to live so that our kindness may be the last precious memory that
some people have before slipping into that strange world devoid of memory. One
thing is certain: most people will never believe that God loves them until they
experience the warm embrace of a human being who loves them. You and I can make
a difference by being that person.
As you come now to the end of this
article, you have already forgotten much that you read. Soon you may forget it
all. You may forget even my name. But try not to forget this: God has not
forgotten you, and he never will because he loves you so. Remember that as long
as your memory lasts.